I Got It Real Bad
by CallieCaspian
Summary: Catherine realises she may have a crush on Sara, little does she know Sara is already involved with someone. Eventual C/S Rated M for future chapters. Starts loosely based around season 7 episode 23. Please R&R if you can.
1. I got a girl crush

I've got a girl crush.

Loosely based around the events of 7.23

 _Catherine's POV_

The shift started the same as they always do, an assignment, an address, then hopefully after hours of hard work a conviction. The only thing I knew so far was that our intended victim was a ghost from the past-Lady Heather.

I knew heading down to the crime scene if Lady Heather was involved this was going to be a tough nut to crack, not just in the respect of case but also because this Dominatrix was as hard and unyielding as the leather of her tools of the trade. She wasn't going to willingly give up information, especially if Grissom wasn't involved. At this point I hoped he was unaware of the situation, he would only make this harder before we got to the bottom of things.

As I walked down the dusty road leading to the crime scene the heat of the day still lingered in the sweet night air of the city I'd come to love as home.

I approached one of the EMTS wheeling away Heather and uttered some words in which I hoped she would maybe find some comfort in. As she was wheeled away Brass turned to me "Like a bad penny, some people just keep showing up."

"Did you call Grissom?"

"No"

I nodded my head in relief, at least this might buy me a couple of hours until he came looking for answers.

"Who found her?" I asked.

"Guy over there in the ten gallon-Vernon Porter" Brass gestured to a man talking with one of his officers. "He's a night watchman. All employees are required to wear that cow boy getup."

We rounded and made our way towards to scene. Brass continued with a tinge of spitefulness in his voice. "Thats the job that cops get after they retire." He was clearly hoping for a better out come for himself after retired, and who could blame him really.

"You've got something to look forward to, Jim" I teased.

"Yes, ma'am" Brass sighed out.

As we climbed the steps my trained eyes focused in on the unusual. "Looks fresh" I mused aloud, whilst leaning down to place a marker and photograph. We entered the saloon and I took in its surroundings, running my torch over the surfaces looking for a place to tackle first. The annoying sound of badly reminiscent organ music began ringing in my ears.

"Lady Heather has a house for this, why take her show on the road?" I asked Brass, he was clearly as annoyed with the music as myself as instead of offering an observation to my question he countered me with "Do you think you know how to…?" trailing off but gesturing to the organ.

"Yeah" I approached the offending instrument and ran my fingers up its cold wooden finish until I felt a small switch, pushing it in the other direction we were met with the sweet sound of silence.

A sigh of relief swept of Brass. "Oh, you're a genius. Well this is where we found her" He pointed out some rope loosely draped along the floor.

"Did she have ligature marks?" I enquired.

"On her neck, yeah"

"Well, that doesn't make any sense. She's a Dominatrix. Not a submissive" I furrowed my brow trying to think of a reason Lady Heather may have allowed for a switch in command.

"Maybe the party just got out of control"

"Or somebody didn't know the rules" I sighed, I respected Heather for the job she held, but someone clearly didn't. As an ex-stripper I knew the dangers of doing anything sexual for money when it involved men. They could become dangerous and out of control in the blink of an eye, and wether you're a dominatrix or not it doesn't mean you are impervious to the ferocity of a XY chromosome.

At some point during my inner monologue of the anger of the male species Brass must have left to question the man outside. I heard the voice of Sara Sidle greeting him on her way past him before she entered the saloon. My stomach twisted uncomfortably. There was something about Sara recently, it made my blood run a little faster, my heart pound a little louder and my throat a little drier. I was beginning to think I may have a small infatuation with the woman. Not the first time i'd had a crush on a colleague but this was certainly one I was planning on pursuing. However that didn't mean I couldn't have a little fun with her. I smiled to myself thinking of the ways I could possibly flirt with her this shift, If only to make the time pass a little quicker.

We said our hellos and got to work photographing the scene, documenting every little detail, not knowing which would be the key to the mystery laid out in front of us.

"This is a family theme park." Sara photographed a broken bottle of whiskey in front of her, she continued."I'm assuming they don't actually serve alcohol here. Must have brought their own. Single Malt 30 years old.

What a waste of a good drink I thought to myself. "S and M is a rich mans sport. Kind of like hockey-a lot of equipment" I commented while dusting for prints of the previously ear offending organ.

"How much do you think a night like this would cost?" Sara enquired.

"Heather told me, five years ago, she was clearing 20 grand a week, and that was before ladyheathercom " I could see that look of surprise of Sara's face clearly not realising what a lucrative business the BDSM world could be. I could also see her swallow a lump in her throat as she asked.

"What is she like?"

"Beautiful…smart,intense…charming" All words I could use to describe Sara if I'm being honest wth myself. "The only woman I've ever seen rattle Grissom." I saw the look Sara had in her eyes, but I couldn't place it, confusion, jealousy maybe even hurt? This was a new shade on Sara so I decided to continue, to see if I could place the shade of emotion. Maybe I wasn't the only one with a work crush."I mean, he kind of liked that forensic anthropologist, Terry Miller, Remember her?

There it was again, a small look of sadness, maybe what I had pegged as hero worship was in fact feelings towards Grissom.

"Yeah" came Saras reply although her voice cracked in the middle of it. She busied her hands with taking more photos, although I could almost see her ears straining hoping to pick up more hints from me. I decided to push to give her what she was clearly looking for.

"But she wasn't enough of a challenge for him. Heather on the other hand" I paused to look at Sara "Uninhibited…and can beat him at mental chess. They had chemistry, and he is a scientist."

Sara was now not even looking at the photos she was snapping away at her eyes and mind clearly somewhere else. I knew by this point I might possibly hurt her, but Sara deserved to know what I thought I knew about them, even if her crush was one sided, she wouldn't want to make a fool of herself by telling Grissom about her feelings only to have them shot down because of Lady Heather.

"I have no proof and I know he'd never tell me, but I'm certain they spent the night together. Wonder which one wore the chaps."

There it was again, that kicked puppy look on Sara's face, damn Sidle you got it bad. Although, I had to admit, she looked adorable, her big brown orbs were wider than usual, and I felt like if they got any bigger I could dive right into them and drown in caramel chocolate.

She cleared her throat in an attempt to make her voice sound even and normal, she failed, miserably. She obviously wanted to drop this subject now as she ignored my last few comments, focusing back on the scene infant of her, but I could still her a little pain through her job related words.

"Lots of…coins and toothpicks. They don't sweep under here."

"I mean more power to him, really, to find somebody outside of work, 'cause when you start fishing from the company pier….asking for trouble." I added this as I thought of Sara, not in regards too her feelings about Grissom but more to myself. I should neatly package away this crush before it got to out of control. Again she tried to keep us case related.

"I found a shot glass. Looks like theres some lipstick around the rim." Her voice wavered slightly, she was clearly still struggling to gain a hold over her own mouth.

"My fantasy does not include costumes, or pain…and certainly not sawdust." This finally got Saras attention, she meet my gaze with a curious lilt of her head, almost as if she was wondering wether to ask me to divulge further and tell her what my fantasy would include, her eyes were darker than normal and I could see her sweet tooth gap through her parted lips. Now I was curious. I tried to act nonchalant by dusting some sawdust off my knee as I asked the question of her. "You?"

Sara cleared her throat and looked slightly startled by my question.

"Me what Cath?"

"Ahh don't play dumb with me Sidle." I walked closer over to her so we were now standing in front of each other. " What would your fantasy be Sara?

Sara paled, wide eyed and god damn adorable. "I'm not telling you my fantasies Cath! Thats private." She would have normally said it with more conviction but I could tell I had knocked her slightly by question or my proximity, I'm not sure which but either way it was fun.

"Fantasies, so you have a few…Awww come on, whats secrets between friends."

"Catherine just drop it, please, I'm not going to tell you."

I don't know wether it was the sadness that had come back into her eyes or if it was the unusually quiet tone in her voice but I decided to drop it. I stepped away from her and went back to dusting the area for prints.

Sara looked lost in her thoughts, her brow furrowed and I could only assume there was an internal debate raging on inside her. We finished the rest of our scene in silence, packing away the evidence in the SUV.

I decided now would be a good as time as any to inform Grissom of Lady Heathers accident so as Sara went to collect the last of her equipment I pulled out my phone and hit number 3 on speed dial. Leaning against the driver door of our car as I waited for him to answer.

"Grissom" I could her the gruffness of his voice through the phone, I had clearly interrupted his concentration with something.

"Hey Grissom"

"Catherine?" I could clearly her the question in his voice.

"Its Lady Heather, theres been an accident, she's in hospital."

"I'm on my way." The phone clicked dead. He was gone, clearly wanting to rush to her side as soon as possible. I smiled slightly to myself, damn I have him pegged right when it comes to Lady Heather.

I heard Sara close the trunk and pull open her passenger door. I hopped in the car and turned to her, taking in her slumped shoulders and thoughtful gaze. There was still clearly some things she was thinking through. "You ready?" I asked.

"Yeah, do you want to drop me at the hospital so I can get the bodily evidence from he victim?"

"If you want" I reasoned she must want to meet this woman now after all I had said tonight about the connection between Grissom and Lady Heather. I started the car up and headed for the ER.


	2. Hate to admit it but

Saras POV

Catherine had just dropped me off outside the hospital, my head was buzzing with all the new information about Lady Heather and Gil-the man who for the last year I had called my boyfriend. Not that many people were privy to the information. However, we had made a commitment to each other, and a part of that commitment was honesty. I asked him several times before we became a couple if there had ever been anything between him and the dominatrix, rumours flew around the office about the two of them. He insisted there hadn't been. Now I find out he may have lied to me. Unacceptable.

The more rational side tried to reason with my internal monologue. Catherine was only working off of assumptions. I needed to find out for myself. I walked up to the front desk of the hospital flash my badge and a small smile at the middle aged lady behind the counter and enquired as to which room Heather Keeler was in. She pointed out the way and I headed off. My head still fizzing with processing this new information. I took a breath to steady myself before entering. Knocking lightly on the door before going in.

"Hi, I'm with the crime lab. Sara Sidle." My voice sounding much more confident then I thought possible at this moment. I moved further into the room before continuing. "I'm here to collect your clothes and trace evidence from your body." I walked up to her bedside, placing my evidence kit on the table beside her.

"Can I say no?" Fuck, even her voice had a raspy, sultry quality to it. I softened my tone, unsure why such a powerful woman wouldn't want this man caught.

"Why would you want to?" I turned to face Brass for a moment. "Did the nurse forget to collect a SAE kit?"

Before Brass could answer the sultry voice piped up again.

"Not necessary."

It was Brass this time who cut in. "You don't want help, thats okay by me. Just don't waste my time. I've got a lot of cases on my desk that need my attention. So when you come out of you haze, give me a call." There was a gruffness to Jim's voice i had never heard him used before when speaking with victims. Maybe he knew more about Lady Heather as well, should I ask him? He left the room abruptly.

I took this time to study Heather, taking in her long brown her, her angled jaw line and big eyes. She was breath taking i had to admit, even with the bruising on her neck beginning to show. Her slender framed was dwarfed by the large hospital bed, and to be honest at this time I was having trouble imagining this demure woman as a dominatrix. Once again Heathers musical voice drifted over my ears.

"I don't respond well to men who judge me based solely on my profession." A small smile played around the corners of her mouth.

"I get that to." I responded." Shrugging and return her a small grin. "Law enforcement." I clarified, I took a deep breath before continuing. "May I move your hair?"

Heather nodded her head in agreement and closed her eyes.

I brushed my fingers along her collar bone and moved her silky hair from her long neck in order to photograph the abuse she had suffered. Wether or not her and Grissom had been an item, she certainly wasn't at fault for it, and right here, right now, she was a victim and i would do everything in my power to help her. I stood back at full height and began taking photos of her wounds.

"These look like rope marks on your neck." Lady Heather said nothing, instead something out side of the room caught her attention, or should I say someone.

"Grissom." Heather breathed out.

I turned praying I wouldn't see him, yet there he was stood in her doorway, with a face riddle with guilt, and sadness. He swallow back whatever he was going to say. Instead i decided to take the lead.

"I'll be done in a minute." I said flatly. He just blinked at me twice and backed out of the room.

I continued photographing Heather in silence. Once I was finished I lightly took her hand.

"We'll get the person who did this to you Heather." I gave her a small sympathetic smile.

She merely nodded and smiled back in response.

I picked up my evidence kits and walked out of the room. Grissom was sat in a plastic chair just outside of the door. He leapt into the air when he saw me. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came from his lips.

"Why are you here Gil?"

"Catherine phoned me, she told me Heather was the victim at your crime scene. I came to see f she was alright." He mumbled barely able to make eye contact with me.

"No Gil, WHY are you here."

"She's my friend I wanted to make sure she was okay.'

"Is that all she is." My voice started to raise in volume, the anger was now starting to flow through me and i didn't know if I would be able to stop it.

"Yes Sara, she's my friend." He reached a hand out to touch me but I stepped away, I could tell i'd hurt him but fuck he was killing me. As a trained CSI i know when people are lying to me.

"So if I turn around and walk back into that room and ask Heather if anything has ever happened between you too, she won't tell me it has." My blood began to boil in my body, the rage building within my chest.

"Well-I-I mean-"

"Thats what I thought Gil. You lied to me. You made me trust you and you lied!" I turned on my heels about to walk away when he grabbed my hand. I pulled it back sharply but remained where I was, waiting to hear whatever pathetic excuse he came out with.

"I'm sorry."

"You're Sorry!" I shouted incredulously, I ran a hand through my hair trying to calm down. "Just go in there Grissom, make sure she's okay, she doesn't need to be hurt by you're lies to me. Do what you need to do." I didn't have to turn around to know he had gone. i could hear the door open quietly behind him as he entered her room. He didn't bother to shut the door, assuming I had left immediately after my outburst.

I slowly walked up to the window in the room, listening intently to the there conversation, going unnoticed by either party inside the room, both to caught up in other to notice me eaves dropping.

"Are you here in a professional capacity?" I heard Heather enquire.

"Does it make a difference." Grissoms indecisive voice rumbled out.

"Maybe not to you, I feel exposed. The last time you saw me-"

"You had just lost your daughter." Gil interrupted.

"Thats not all I lost that night." Heathers voice was barely above a whisper, I had to strain my ears just to hear her now.

"If a client did this to you and left you to die, why are you protecting him?"

"I'm not." Her voice quivered.

"Tell me the truth." He pleaded.

I could hear Heather breathing change, she sounded like she was struggling for air.

"Did they check your glucose levels when you came in?" Heather?!"

I hear the machine from within the room bleep to life and a nurse came shooting past me and darted into the room. I could hear the worry in grissoms voice.

"She's diabetic, I think she's going into shock."

At the a whir of more medical staff started to move towards the room, I took this as my sign to exit. I bolted down the stairs and almost ran into a doctor as I charged my way outside. All of a sudden needing to breathe some fresh air. I gulped down a few big calming breaths as I reached the heat outside the sliding glass doors.

Before I knew what was happening I pulled out my cell and hit number 7 on my speed dial.

"Hey It's Catherine Willows."

"Catherine, It's Sara, do you think we could pick me up?." My voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

"Of course Sara." Her voice suddenly filled with concern down the line. "Are you okay? Whats wrong?"

"I just- I just need-" I couldn't finish my sentence, afraid if i spoke, the tears that were threatening to invade my eyes would come spilling out.

"Are you still at the hospital?"

"Uh-huh" That was all I could manage, a noise, no words.

"I'm coming to get you stay where you are."

I flicked my phone shut and dived into my evidence kit. I kept a pack of my little nicotine death sticks stashed away for an emergency and boy was this an emergency.

I pulled one out of the pack and lit it, took a long draw and closed my eyes.

I repeated this until it was finished, then I unconsciously pulled another out of its pack. My heart rate had started to ease a little as I lit my second cigarette. I dragged on this one a little slower, watching my mouth expel the smoke and using the rhythm to try and calm myself down. By the time I had reached for my third cigarette and lit it Catherine pulled up.

"Hey Sara, over here." I turned and saw the concerned face of my co-worker leaning out of her car window. I walked over to her side of the car first, intent on finishing my cigarette before entering her vehicle.

"You got a spare one?" she grinned slightly at her request.

"Yeah." I mumbled. "I didn't know you smoked."

"I don't anymore, and neither should you. I just like the odd one here and there." I handed her a cigarette from my pack.

"Me too, only in case of emergencies."

I made my way round to the passenger side and climbed into the inviting leather car.

"So why is this an emergency? Whats wrong?"

I leaned forward and lit the cigarette that was hanging in between her lips, she took a draw and closed her eyes in satisfaction. She blew out the grey smoke, and turned to look at me.

"So...?" she pressed again.

"Can we just not talk about it for a while, Can we go someplace, and just not ask questions." I asked defeatedly.

"Yes Sara." She paused for a moment. As if picking her words deliberatly before saying this. "Not that I'm annoyed but why of all people did you call me right now, i mean clearly you're in some sort of distress, and i just didn't think you would think to call me in a time like this."

"Honestly Cath, i just didn't want judgement, and i felt like you would be able to understand somehow."

"No judgement eh? Well you've come to the right place, thats the Catherine Willows special." She grinned over at me, clearly trying to make me feel better and to be honest, it did slightly. I attempted a smile back but could only manage a half crooked grin.

She placed the car in drive, speeding off and down the highway. I didn't know where she was taking me but I also didn't care right now. I let the colours of Vegas fly past my face as I looked out of the window. Trying to decipher the information i had just learned from my so called boyfriend. Well he certainly wouldn't be that anymore.

I could feel Catherine gaze on me every so often, but she stuck to her word and didn't ask me any questions. She just kept driving and driving.

I was finally about to ask where we were going then I felt the car slow down in an open space near the desert and i turned to look at Cath as she put the car into park.

"Where are we?"

"Someone know one will ever hear us." With that she opened her door and jumped down out of her car. I furrowed my brow in confusion, but mirrored her and exited the car. She open her trunk and pulled out a couple of big dented cans.

"What are we doing here Catherine?" I enquired again.

"Well, you didn't want to talk, you look frustrated and angry as hell, and I'm assuming you have your gun on you." Still none the wiser I cocked a brow at her to clarify.

"Were gonna do some target practice, Vegas style." She chuckled slightly. She began to walk away from me and set up the cans at varying distances.

She turned back towards the car, flicked on the radio and pumped up the volume to some aggressive rock music.

"Now Sidle, do your worst!"

I turned around and look at the cans once more, eh why not. I couldn't feel worse than I already do i suppose. I removed my gun from its holster at my waist and brought it up to my eye level. I shot the first bullet and the can resounded with a satisfying ping, marking the fact my shot was on target. I felt my shoulders loosen slightly as I fired off another four shots, all on target from my Glock 22. The next few shots I aimed at a can Catherine had set at a considerable distance. I missed the first two shots.

Catherine who had been leaning on her car slowly walked over to me, slowly placing her hand on my shoulder.

"May i?" She enquired.

I shrugged non chanontly.

She kept one hand on my shoulder pulling my stance slightly tighter making me stand with less of a slouch. She ran her other hand down my firing arm and gripped my hand holding my gun. I shivered slightly at her touch. She tilted my hand up a fraction and moved her body in behind mine holding me close lining up my shot for me.

It wasn't until I felt her body flush against mine that i realised I didn't mind this contact, in fact i was enjoying it a little. Her curves were pressed into my back and i could feel her hot breath on my neck.

"Ready Sidle, One, Two, Three?" She squeezed my finger that was holding the trigger with hers. A distinctive ping let us know with her coaching I had hit the target. I smiled reflexively. She pulled one arm around my waist a little tighter, and we fired off the remain three bullets, each of them hitting the same target.

Catherine released my body from her grip, and surprisingly I felt a little sad at the distance between us now.

"Thanks Cat." I breathed out. "That felt really good."

"Ahh just another thing I'm great at. Cheering people up. Now don't feel you have too, but I am here to talk IF you want too." She stressed the 'IF'. I sighed unsure of how to even start.


	3. I've got a heart rush

_Catherine's POV_

I could see Saras face twist into an uncomfortable grimace at the prospect of spilling whatever was weighing her down. I hated to see her like this. She was normally so strong and resilient.

"Look Sara, you don't have to tell me anything, it's just sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved, you know."

She sighed.

"I know, I just don't even know where to begin."

She clearly needed more time to process, I lightly gripped her wrist and offered a comforting smile.

"Look, lets get you back to the lab, we'll finish what we can for today then we can go for a drink, if you want to talk you can. If you don't want too, well thats okay too." I moved to collect our spent casings and to return the cans to the back of my trunk. We climbed in the car and set off towards the lab.

We drove in silence until I heard the small voice from beside me.

"It's Grissom." She stated, not elaborating anymore.

"You like him don't you?"

Sara scoffed slightly, and shook her head.

"I don't just like him Cath." She took a deep breath before continuing. "We've been dating for nearly a year."

My eyes widened. Wow. I wasn't expecting that. I cleared my throat and enquired.

"So is this about Lady Heather? Look, If I said anything that crossed the line at the scene today, I didn't mean too. I was just musing aloud."

Sara raised her hand to stop me talking.

"You did nothing wrong Catherine. You merely informed me of what I thought I already knew. Seeing Grissom with Heather at the hospital just confirmed it all." She looked down sadly. She fell silent again beside me. I had to choose my next words carefully.

"So...If you don't mind me asking, why all this secrecy? Why not tell the team about you two?

She sighed again. "It's not like I didn't want to, but Gil thought it best to keep it between ourselves. I couldn't think of a good enough reason not too, so I just agreed. Now I think its because he was ashamed of me or something." Her voice cracked at that last sentence and I swear I could feel my heart breaking for her.

"Now listen Sidle and listen carefully. No one, and I mean no one, could EVER be ashamed to have you as their partner. You hear me. You're beautiful, smart, wise beyond your years. You have a smile that can light up the room and a laugh that you can't help but join in with. You're special, you hear me."

Sara bit her lip and moved to stare out of her window, clearly trying to hide her face from me, as she shook her head in disagreement.

"Hey, I mean every word Sara. You're wonderful, and If Gil can't see that, well more fool him, he's lost the best thing that'll ever happen to him, and he'll be kicking himself once he realises."

Sara risked a glance over to me, I could feel her eyes on my face. I turned to look at her before reaching my hand out and taking hers. I felt my heart rate increase and the mere feel of her hand in mine. Her skin so soft against my own.

"Thanks Cath." She spoke so softly, I barely caught the words.

"Anytime Sidle, anytime."

With that we continued in silence until we reached the lab. As we exited the car, Sara came round and embraced my in a warm but unsure hug. Once she felt me return the embrace, she relaxed in my arms.

"Thanks Cat for everything today." She spoke softly into my hair. I had to control the shiver that rippled through my body at the proximity of her lips in my ear.

"Come one Sidle, lets get this shift over and done with." I offered with a wide beam which she returned, all be it only with a small grin, but It was better than nothing.

As we walked into the building we saw Brass at the desk.

"Hey ladies. Hows it going?"

"Good Brass, yourself?" I responded.

"Well, Lady Heathers still not speaking."

At this Sara motioned that she would head upstairs to carry on our investigation whilst I filled Jim in. I turned back to Brass.

"The substance I found under the saloon window was chewing tobacco."

"The night watch man chews'

"Yeah, Vernon Porter. He was fired from the force back in Chicago." We started to make our way through the noisey corridors of the labs.

"Yeah I know, I checked him out." Brass confirmed. " He got in an off duty incident. He was in a fight in a bar and a woman was hospitalised."

"I'm thinking he had a front row seat." I countered.

"Well, you know, it fits his profile. He could have waited until Heathers client left-Theres always a client...and then attacked her. You know, I should have checked to see if he was wearing underwear."

"Theres no way he could afford her. So why would Heather cover for him? Unless he's just a witness."

"Well, you want to see a man about a horse?"

We crossed in front of one of the labs that Sara had taken residence up in.

"Sure Brass just give me a moment."

I entered the lab and cleared my throat to alert Sara to my presence. She looked up and smiled a small crooked grin at me.

"Listen, me and Brass are heading back to the crime scene, to see if we missed anything, you wanna come?"

"No, thank you. I'm going to stay here and keep working through what we've already collected."

"Okay, just call me If you need anything." I smiled back at her."Please." I added, with more of a pleading tone than I intended.

"I will Cath."

With that she began looking at the myriad of information in front on her, trying to make sense of all the evidence.

I lingered for just a moment, taking in the tall, slender beauty standing in front of me. Her hair was glistening underneath the lab lights and her smooth pale skin looked as soft as silk. I ran my eyes down her body once more, taking in all of her curves, again, I smiled to myself. God. She really was beautiful.

I turned back out of the lab.

"Ready Brass?"


	4. Ain't slowing down

_Saras POV_

I smiled a small smile to myself. I liked this new version of Catherine I was seeing, the caring side. This is the side that everyone else was privy to already, but we could never stop fighting with each other long enough to see the person under neath the anger. We were both at fault for this.

However, I'd be damned if I'd now let us slip back into our fury driven relationship after this. I wanted to keep this side of Cath open to myself. Who'd have thought 12 hours could change our whole out look on each other.

I began to think of my flame headed co-worker. I couldn't help but recall back to our shooting practice. I certainly enjoyed the feeling of her body pressed against mine more than I should have done. Then again, I was only human, Catherine was beautiful. Anyone could see that. She had an enigmatic smile, and eyes that could penetrate the devil himself. She sparkled like a new penny, and her charm was beyond anything I had ever seen before. I closed her eyes briefly and imagine herself back in her arms. I had felt safe and protect within the embrace of Catherine. Something I hadn't expected but still relished. I sighed with a slightly contented lilt.

I picked up a new piece of evidence, some threads off of the ropes we found. As I busied myself looking through the microscope, Grissom entered my lab.

"Any results of Heather Kessler?" He enquired, using her full name to make it appear like he was asking about any other victim in our cases, but I could see the worry etched in his face, and the hopeful glint in his eye that i may have found something.

"So far, all the prints come back to her." I returned flatly. "Player piano, Whiskey bottle, shot glass. There was some lipstick found around the rim. I haven't had a chance to test it. You think its her shade?" I asked venom seeping into my voice.

Grissom cocked his eyebrows clearly taken aback by my sneakily confident jab at him and Lady Heather. I lowered my head back down, proud I had hurt him a little. He deserved it.

"Heathers not supposed to drink, because of her diabetes, which could explain the hypoglycaemia and shock." He reasoned mainly with him self-temporarily forgetting my presence in the room. I looked up at him, my pain glaringly obvious.

"Catherine found a pair of men's underwear in the toilet. Any evidence on them would have been washed away, but she also found seminal fluid in a tissue of the floor nearby." I twisted the metaphorical knife in further.

"She was sexually assaulted." Grissom paled.

"She refused and SAE kit, so we will never know. There were no defensive wounds, no skin or rope fibres under her nails. At first blush, I figured he might have ambushed her, except I noted three separate strangulation attempts on her neck." I paused to pass Grissom the photos I had taken earlier at the hospital. "She had time to fight back."

"This makes no sense. She's very strong, and tough as nails. Why didn't she fight?" The pained look on Grissoms face made a flood of guilt wash through me. Yes he had hurt me, and lied to me, but this was still Grissom, a man who was still a boy behind all the science and bugs. He looked so hurt, and I struggled to come up with a response for him. I just shrugged as he looked down at the abusive photos in front of him.

"Look, Sara...I should have told you the truth about me and Heather."

I raised my hand to silence him. "Yes you should have done, but what is done is done. No point dwelling on the past now."

"So you forgive me?" A hopeful look glinted in Grissoms baby blue eyes.

"No Gil. You still lied to me." My guilt for him had been replaced with annoyance at him.

"But-"

"I don't want to hear it Gil, you know how hard it is for me to trust people. You have shattered our trust now. Even If I wanted to forgive you, I would never be able to trust you again."

"Never?!" He raised his voice incredulously to me.

I walked over towards the door and shut it, giving us our full privacy.

"No Gil. Never. I didn't make this choice. You did when you decided to lie to me." The anger started to bubble once again, tears began creeping into my eyes. "You know of my situation. My past. You told me you would never hurt me or lie to me, and you have done both."

"But Sara...I love you."

I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach, all my breath had left my body. My heart broke, this was the first time he had ever said that to me, and now he was saying it whilst we were breaking up.

"It doesn't matter anymore Gil. I'm sorry, were over." My voice barely above a whisper, trying to keep my tears back and the rage within me.

He turned silently and walked out of the door. As soon as the door swung shut again, I let all my pain come spilling out, I wept silently. Heaving sobs raking through my entire body. My head was spinning. I leant my hands on the table to steady myself and let the waves of pain wash through out me. I couldn't catch my breath. I was just crying uncontrollably, praying no one would open the door. I couldn't face anyone seeing me like this. I grabbed my cell of the table and hit my speed dial.

 **Meanwhile...**

 _Catherine's POV_

Me and Brass arrived back the the theme park, and exited our separate vehicles, the colder air had settled around us. I grabbed my jacket from the back seat and we made our way over to the entrance.

"Gates unlocked again." I commented to Brass as we entered. Flashlights pulled out already.

"Well, it's ten after. Probably unlocked 'cause he's doing his rounds."

"Maybe."

"Ahh the wild west partner.'

I couldn't contain myself any longer, I had to ask. His comments about Lady Heather spinning around my head from earlier.

"Okay, come on Jim, give it up. I know you know something about Grissom and Lady Heather."

"I know something a lot juicier than Grissom and Lady Heather." I was about to ask what when my flashlight ran over the body of a man lying face down in the dirt. We both approached the body carefully. I looked around us wildly, searching for any remaining danger. I leaned down and gently place my hand on the mans neck looking for a pulse.

"Oh yeah, He's dead."

"He took one in the back." Jim's eyes were darting back and fourth around the park looking for anything or anyone out of place. I ran my flashlight around the area scanning for a casing or something to give us a clue.

"Who shot the sheriff?" I asked aloud to no one. "We should call it in and wait for back up to arrive."  
I had just finished my words when my phone loudly rang through out the still night. I answered it without looking at the ID first.

"Willows."

"Catherine." I heard the tiniest voice whisper down the phone, I instantly knew it was Sara on the other end.

"Whats wrong?" I asked.

"Its over." She responded with a quiver in her voice.

"Are you still in the lab?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, go to my office, lock the door, i'll be there shortly." I hung up and turned around to Brass.

"I need to go Jim, i'll be back soon after David takes the body back to the mortuary." He simply nodded, still looking around for anything out of place.

I all but ran back to my car, slammed on the accelerator determined to get to the lab in record time. The tone in her voice had pained me, and I didn't want her to be alone right now. I screamed the car down the highway breaking the speed limit but I didn't care right now.

I parked my car in the garage downstairs and sprinted my way up to my office.

"Sara?" I knocked lightly on the door and waited for the brunette to unlock it. I heard her shifting behind it. The second I heard the click of the lock being moved I swung the door open, slammed it behind me and re-locked it.

I immediately took the woman standing in front of me into my arms. She began to sob uncontrollably. I ran one of my hands soothingly down her back. Trying to bring her some form of comfort. She looked so small, almost crumpled in on herself.

"Its okay Sara, It'll all be okay." I soothed into her ear.

She merely turned her head into my neck and howled harder. I let this continue for a few minutes before I gently placed my hand on her cheek and raised her head to look me in the eyes. Her face with soaked with the exertion of her sadness, her eyes puffy and red with pain. I wiped my thumbs across her cheeks, clearing some one the saline sorrow off her face. I placed a delicate kiss to her forehead, hoping she may find some comfort in my act. I gently took her shoulders and led her over to the sofa in my office.

"Do you want to talk about it yet?"

Sara shook her head violently. I stroked her silky hair and placed her head softly back on my shoulder.

"Okay sweetie." I resumed my position of rubbing her back and let her cry herself dry. She would talk when she was ready.


	5. I got it real bad

Saras POV

The feeling of finding comfort with in Catherine's arms was foreign to me, but right now I couldn't imagine being anywhere else as the sobs heaved from my body. I could feel her hand brushing gently up and down my back and I tried to even my breathing out in time to the soothing movements.

My sobs turned to cries, then my cries turned to whimpers. Eventually I was dry.

I didn't want to move just yet though. I kept my face folded into Catherine's crook as she continued to hold me. I turned my head more and buried my nose further into her soft neck, breathing in deeply, I enjoyed the sweet smell that was Catherine as it invade my senses. There were top notes of caramel, and coconut, with an undertone of the coffee all of us CSIs mainlined to keep us awake and working.

My eyes were dry and felt heavy around my lids, as they always do after a long cry, and I could feel the start of a unwelcome headache beginning to ebb away in my mind. I tilted my head up slightly so that I could look at Catherine from my position tucked into her neck. She looked down at me and smiled warmly. Her bright eyes penetrated mine and I could feel her soothing my soul with her gaze.

"Thank you Catherine, for everything today. I don't know what I would have done without you." I placed my hand lightly on her leg in a gesture of gratitude and squeezed it gently.

"Like I've said Sara, anytime." She gave a small sigh before continuing. "Look Sara, not that I'm upset about the whole situation, but I feel like we've made some progress today. Its nice not ripping lumps out of each other." She chuckled lightly. "I'd like to keep this up. Us, being friends."

"I'd like that too Cath, I'd like it a lot in fact. We should probably get back to work though."

"I Should. You need to go home."

"No Catherine, I can't let you do that."

"Look Sara, It's a slow night apart from our case, I'll borrow the boys. You need a night to yourself away from here, and Grissom."

"No, honestly thats so sweet but-"

"Sara, as your supervisor I am ordering you to listen to me."

I would have been furious at her for pulling rank if it wasn't for that cheeky smile she flashed me to know she was joking about her words, but the meaning behind them still bore the same weight. She wouldn't take no for an answer and with my headache starting to pound harder an early night actually sounded like a great idea to me. We stood up from the sofa and I walked over to her door before turning on my heels and coming back to give her one last hug, trying to put all my gratefulness into the embrace.

With that I walked out of her office and headed down to the car park. I tried not to think on the drive home but my mind kept drifting back to Grissom and his betrayal. I couldn't understand why he didn't tell me about Heather, we could have had a mature talk instead of all this heartache. My mind was still made up however, I couldn't take him back, wouldn't take him back, not after this.

I stopped off at a local shop and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels, I knew I shouldn't be drinking but damn it I needed it right now. I needed to forget.

I unlocked the door to my apartment and threw my keys and jacket onto the couch. I took the bottle of Jack and grabbed myself a glass with some ice, taking that and the bottle into my bathroom. I poured myself a healthy measure and began to fill up my tub. Maybe a deep soak would help relive some of my tension and troubles. I poured in some of my favourite cinnamon crystals and some bubble bath and stripped.

I let myself sink into the warm waters and I started to come undone once again, this time my tears were slow in falling, and almost silent. I took the first sip of my whiskey and felt it burning its way down my throat. Alcohol had never felt so good before, I kept sipping away lightly letting each flame lick at my throat and buzz to my head, I let my body succumb to the sadness resonating throughout me.

Catherine's POV

I couldn't help but think of Sara as I made my way back to the crime scene. I know we had never exactly been friends. Hell until recently we couldn't even be in the same room, but she is a part of our team and that makes her family, and no one upsets our family. Even Gil Grissom isn't exempt from that rule. I couldn't forget the way it felt to have her body curled into mind in my office, the feel of her pressed gently up against mine. the soft caress of her silky brunette hair under my chin. The smell of something woody and spicy playing a concerto across my heart strings. God, I needed to get this crush in check, this was starting to get out of hand. Not only had Sara just broken up with Gil but she was also clearly straight, a fact I had argued with myself many times previously. However, with this new information about their relationship coming to light I had no room left to argue about the possibilities of Sara Sidles potential homosexuality.

I pulled up to the crime scene and exited the welcoming cool air of my air conditioned car. The Nevada sun was beating down tauntingly, and the dust on the dirt track echoed under my every foot step, this was one of those unforgivably hot southern days. I began my search for Brass and David, I didn't have to look hard, they were still examining the body.

"Hey boys, what are we looking at here?" I called out to them as I grabbed my camera from my evidence kit. I began snapping photos of the body and the scene around him.

David was the first to respond.

"The bullet entered through his back, No exit wound. Theres some sweeping under his lip." David reached in and grabbed at the tobacco stashed away inside his mouth. "Ugh, disgusting. You get mouth cancer from this."

"David hand me his cellphone." Brass's gravelly voice cut through David's diatribe of the victim.

I reached into the holster at Vernon's hip to retrieved his weapon to examine it.

"Ruger single six, the gun hasn't been fired."

"Guess who he called yesterday. Lady Heather" Spoke Brass sarcastically.

"He might have threatened her." I countered.

"And we both know how she likes to settle her own scores. I'm going to get a warrant but it may take me some time because I have to find a judge who isn't a client of hers." More disdain for Heather seeped into Jim's voice.

I carried on my search of the theme park, looking for any other evidence that may help us piece together this confusing jigsaw. Nearly an hour later I was done collecting the remaining mysteries I decided a visit to Doc Robbins was in order, just to clarify if the preliminary information that David gave us was in fact all this body had to tell.

As I made my way back to the lab thoughts of the brunette once again filled my mind.

The cold smell of sterilisation and death permitted my senses as I entered the morgue.

"What have we got Doc."

"COD's a single gun shot wound to the lower lumbar region. Bullet entered here and then travelled slightly upward." He gestured to the bullet hole on Vernon's back.

"Where is the bullet." I enquired.

"Well thats the fun part. He didn't die from the initial wound. It entered though his back and then penetrated the inferior vena cava, it travelled though that vessel into his right lung. Its called a bullet embolus, and its hard to find." He took a breath and looked up at me with his trade mark smug smile. "Most medical examiners would have missed it." He handed me the bullet.

I smiled at him. "Full metal jacket, nine millimetre, the bullet I found at the saloon was from a revolver. Colt single-action army."

"That gun won the west, but that bullet" He gestured to the evidence in question. "Is from a 20th century, high-capacity, semi-automatic pistol. I see a lot of bullets."

"Thanks Doc." I walked towards the lab doors before turning back and smiling again at Doc Robbins.

"Oh by the way Doc, you're not most medical examiners." I said with a wink before leaving, I could hear him chuckle as the door shut.

As I walked down the corridors of the lab I stumbled into Brass.

"Ahh Catherine just the lady I was looking for. I got a warrant for Lady Heathers house, you coming?"

"Yeah Jim, give me a moment I've just got to make a call first." I headed into my office and grabbed my cell from my waist.

Saras POV

I don't know weather it was the bubbles or the booze, but I was starting to unwind. My tears had subsided somewhat and I was starting to feel the burn of the alcohol flowing through my entire body, its path leaving a numbing wake of nothingness.

My phone rang abruptly, interrupting my cocoon I had made for myself, I shifted slightly, wiped my hand on the nearest towel and reached out to grab it from its position on the toilet seat.

"Sidle." I answered.

"Sara, Its me. I still want to talk."

"Theres nothing left to say Gil, Leave me alone!" I slammed my phone shut on him before turning back to my bath.

The shrill sound of my cell rang through the bathroom again.

"GO AWAY GRISSOM." I shouted down the phone.

"Whoa Sara, Its Catherine calm down, is everything okay."

"Oh, Sorry Cath." Chagrin washed over my cheeks. " I thought you were Gil phoning back." I could hear the slur in my voice as I spoke to her.

"Clearly. I just wanted to phone and see how you were doing."

"I'm fine Cath." I slurred once again.

"Sara?" Her voice sounded unsteady. "Have you been drinking?"

"No." My voice was unsteady and I cringed at how I sounded.

"Sara, look I know its been a tough day but you can't drink again, you know you shouldn't be..." She trailed off, clearly not knowing how to finish her sentence.

"Catherine, I need this okay. Just stop please, not tonight." My voice clearly vulnerable as she let the subject lie.

"Okay, but be careful alright, Don't do anything stupid Sara. Please."

"I won't." My voice cracked and I hung up the phone, refilling my glass I sunk further into the bubbly comfort of my tub.

Catherine POV

"GOD DAMN IT SARA!" I shouted to the emptiness of my office. I heard Brass open the door.

"Everything okay Catherine."

"Yeah, lets just get to Heathers, I need this day to be over with." I knew I had to check on Sara when this was all through, I couldn't believe she would turn back on to drinking, especially after last time. Although given the day she had just had, it also was;t all that surprising.

I followed Brass's car to Lady Heathers.

"You ready Brass?" I asked as we exited our cars.

"Oh Yeah." He responded almost gleefully.

I knocked impatiently on the glass of her door, and waited for her response. Lady Heather opened it and stood there in all her glory. Her brunette trestles were piled onto of her head exposing her bruised neck, the purple and blues fusing in a necklace like pattern along her throat, she wore a gown of a Western era, sapphire and tightly fitting in all the right places.

"This isn't a good time." She spoke abruptly.

"We have a warrant to search your house, and you better put some sunblock on because we're going downtown." Jim spat smugly.

I couldn't help but run my eyes over Lady Heather once again, yes she was a beautiful looking woman, but how could Grissom be so stupid to risk everything with Sara for this woman.

"My memory isn't any better than it was yesterday. I'm not up to it Detective."

"Well, We'll swing by the hospital, and you can explain to them why you checked yourself out early, against doctors orders."

"We're investigating a homicide." I interjected.

"I don't understand."

"Where were you last night?" Brass questioned.

She raised one perfectly arched eyebrow. "You may come in."

As we entered her home I couldn't help once again be bowled over by the sheer expanse and decadence of her home. It hadn't changed too much in the last five years, just updated her and there.

"I was here." Heather finally answered Brass's question posed at the threshold of her home.

"Can anyone verify that, preferably someone not on the payroll." He snickered.

Heathers eyes focused on someone over our shoulders on the room behind us. " Captain Brass would like to know where I was last night."

We both turned around and I was nearly knocked over by the sight of Grissom in front of us. Nursing a cup of coffee as he confidently walked over to Brass and myself.

"She was here, with me." Grissom confirmed.

I looked at Brass incredulously not believing what I was seeing. He and Sara were broken up less then one day and here he was staying the night at Lady Heathers. I could not believe the audacity of the male species sometimes.

Brass cleared his throat and tried to dissolve some of the tension seeping into the room.

"Heather come with me, you're coming downtown." He gestured to his officers to lead her away.

That left me with alone with Grissom, great.

"You were here all night. Want to explain why?" I tried to keep the accusing tone out of my voice but I failed miserably. I tried again. "Look, I know that you don't go home and cuddle your insects every single night, but why would you come here knowing that we're in the middle of an investigation? And now she's a prime suspect with you as her alibi."

"It was a social call, thats all." Grissom swallowed visibly, clearly not happy with the turn of events.

"So, when your personal life gets tangled up in a case, thats off limits?" I scoffed at him.

"Yes."

"Isn't that a little hypocritical?" My blood was boiling.

"Apparently so."

"You know I'd slap you, but I think you'd enjoy it too much." I began pacing the room, not willing to believe what my ears were telling me. I shot another look at Grissom, he seemed to be struggling with his answer.

"Look, I went to Heathers on a hunch. Theres something not right with her."

"You're damn right theres something not right. How could you do this! She's under INVESTIGATION."

"Catherine, while I appreciate your concern, this is none of your business."

"My Concern! this has nothing to do with concern for you Gil, and it has everything to do with the fact I spent most of my night consoling your girlfriend." I threw up my arms in exasperation at him before correcting myself. "Sorry I mean your ex-girlfriend."

"You know...about me and Sara, how?" He asked shocked.

"She told me Gil, in between heartbreaking sobs. She breaking apart and your the cause of this."

I could see his emotions play out across his face, he looked bewildered, then guilty, then settled on indignation.

"You have no idea of the situation Catherine." He tried to reason with me but I was way past that.

"Oh I have a better idea than you think Gil!" My anger reaching its crescendo, before I did something stupid I turned to walk away. Before I reached the door I rounded back on Grissom.

"You have no idea what you have done. I hope you only realise before its too late for Sara." With that I stormed out.

"What do you mean too late...Catherine?" He shouted out to me, but I slammed the door of my car and sped away before he had a chance to catch up to me.


End file.
